Ha ha, I'm doing exactly the same thing, right now -- eating the shit I don't really wanna eat, the dregs off the shelves, telling myself it's really not bad after all, and trying to feel mature and adaptable instead of pining for pheasant under glass and such -- for exactly the same reason you're doing it. Bacon and such goodies disappeared a long time ago.

I don't know beans about beans and have never cooked a bean in my life. I found your problems and Panjianlien's advice highly amusing, and it gives me to think perhaps I should learn to do something with beans (sometimes) (they're supposed to be bad for gout).