purejuice: (Default)
purejuice ([personal profile] purejuice) wrote2006-02-11 07:56 am

Italia

So I watched the entire Olympics opening ceremony last night, just the kind of telly a sophisticated girl like I dotes upon.

The re-tooled Mussolini stadium; the whole scenario procured for Torino as one of his last acts by Gianni Agnelli.

Sophia Loren and seven other women, including a Nobel laureate, in matching white suede boots, carrying in the Olympic flag.

Guys in red jumpsuits and roller skates skating through the milling commedia del arte circus scene with flames shooting out the backs of they heads.

The athletes of the former Soviet republics, dressed apparently by the House of the Wild and Crazy Guys, my favorite being the husky, short-legged, volk in shin-length, raspberry-colored puffy overcoats, which did not quite match their chicken-heart pimp hats, which did match perfectly the flag of their nation.

Guys randomly leading large plastic cows on strings through the commedia del arte circus during the Alpine x travaganza, as couples in Holstein-spotted tails and waltz-length tutus circled amongst the ditto. These may have been my favorites.

A 600-pound simulacrum of Pavarotti, looking like the zombie of Nero, apparently lip synching long after the music had stopped. His opera cape alone could have blocked out the sky.

Carla Bruni as the maiden carrying the folded flag of Italy to the carabinieri in Napoleon outfits to raise on the, uhm, Italian flagpole. Carla was born in Torino and represented -- Mick Jagger?

Yoko Ono in a much less foxy white costume than Sophia's, including a white newsboy cap, bringing greetings from John.

Peter Gabriel in a scary black do rag singing "Imagine", which made me cry.

A Ferrari doing wheelies on the runway in a cloud of smoke so thick nobody could see it.

The Alp-shaped skirts of the girls who carried the signs with the nations' names on them, complete with miniature fir trees on the 3-D peaks and slopes.

Shitty camera work by NBC which prevented my viewing of the re-enactment of the birth of Botticelli's Venus, supermodel on a half shell with Renaissance Faire acrobats flying through the air above her, apropos of ....?

Acrobats forming a really good white dove on a grid.

The best fireworks evar.

The athletes marched in to the tune of 80s American disco tunes. They'll be some hot stuff, baby, tonight.

The best costume award goes to...Slovakia or Slovenia, perhaps, the ones with the beautiful celadon skullies.

The Dutch, whose touch of orange I always search for as for Waldo. This year their right armpits were orange, and I salute them.

The only thing that was missing was meatballs raining from the sky.

God bless Italy.

[identity profile] misia.livejournal.com 2006-02-11 02:48 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm so glad I didn't watch it because then I wouldn't have laughed half so hard at your recap.

[identity profile] purejuice.livejournal.com 2006-02-11 04:08 pm (UTC)(link)
oh, it was glorious. and maximus too.

[identity profile] daisydumont.livejournal.com 2006-02-11 02:51 pm (UTC)(link)
uh, i didn't know there were olympics going on. oh shit. i would've kvelled at all that. it sounds like a fellini nightmare after a too-late dinner.

[identity profile] purejuice.livejournal.com 2006-02-11 04:03 pm (UTC)(link)
i thought of you. and fellini.
xxx

[identity profile] daisydumont.livejournal.com 2006-02-12 02:48 pm (UTC)(link)
juice, i just read this aloud to ted. he laughed in all the right places! we are really sad that we missed those hosteins! (this post is even better read aloud.)

[identity profile] purejuice.livejournal.com 2006-02-12 02:49 pm (UTC)(link)
love to the heroic boy.

[identity profile] nancyblue.livejournal.com 2006-02-11 05:40 pm (UTC)(link)
We watched the whole thing, start to finish on hi def. The cows! The cows! Looked like an easily funded EU segment to me. I loved the woman in the Alp dresses.

Oh and you forgot the dancing guy with the mohawk and the huge spinning camo couples in the silver corsets. Fabulous!

Yeah, bring on the meatballs!

[identity profile] purejuice.livejournal.com 2006-02-11 05:45 pm (UTC)(link)
it was felliniesque in lo def. it must have been positively psychedelic in hi def.
mohawk man. silver corsets. oh yeah. i screamed when mohawk man took off his top hat and that obviously rubber prosthetic mohawk quivered a little. like jelly.