Fashion Police: On the Rocks Ooh La La

[purejuice]

OK. Here's my problem, and it's not just because I'm het vanilla. On the Rocks' performance of "Bad Romance" is better sung, danced and sexier than Gaga's.

Gaga is uh, pretentious. She can't move as well as the second lead singer of On the Rocks. She's a shameless sell-out (product placement). She's stuck. She kills her boyfriend every time. If she peeks through her Veed fingers one more time I'll scream. McCartney, not Lennon, and not even the McCartney of "Penny Lane".

I went to sleep last night having watched Gaga's "Bad Romance" and then, On the Rocks'. I woke up singing "Penny Lane" this morning, for reasons only the impeccable good taste of my id can explain. It is a masterpiece.

Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes
There beneath the blue suburban skies
I sit, and meanwhile back

In Penny Lane there is a fireman with an hourglass
And in his pocket is a portrait of the Queen.
He likes to keep his fire engine clean
It's a clean machine

Compare and contrast Gaga at her most allusive:

I want your psycho
Your vertigo shtick
Want you in my rear window
Baby you’re sick
I want your love
Love love love
I want your love

Gaga isn't even bad McCartney. The one thing about Gaga that makes me her slave is the fashion, and of that, I say a novena at the foot of Saint Paul Poiret in thanks for such a young lady's acknowledgement of Paris Is Burning as a seminal (snap!) fashion influence, which almost nobody knows. That, and the biting motion she makes at about 6:50 in the Miracle Whip scene in the "Telephone" video (clean version).

Miracle Whip! Ow!

This, in a word, is a chic New York chick. And a guido. She's witty. Which makes her very, very cute indeed.

But the Gaga parodies are better than she is. This, baby girl, is a problem.

Comments

[garrity.livejournal.com]

I'm with you on Bad Romance -- I don't like that video, although I get that she was going for something specific. I like the Telephone video much, much better, and I also think it's a far superior piece of music.

I also think the conventions of club music produce vocalists to death. The Lady has better pipes that her producers sometimes seem to want her to have. She's no Brit -- there's real vocal talent and expressive range there, when the effects are stripped down. (cf the first verse of Telephone.) Bad Romance is a very bad track, on that point, IMHO.

(I admit before the court and on the record that I am a very very very amateur audiophile, tho. I know a lot more about instrumentation than about voice, and not much about electronic fiddling, except that it irritates me not infrequently. Overproduction of vocal tracks is like having mosquitoes whining in my ears while I am trying to hear something distant.)

[purejuice.livejournal.com]

britney has real pipes? i know she can dance, or used to.

[garrity.livejournal.com]

No, as far as I can tell, she does not. (Sorry for confusing phrasing.) Lady Gaga, however, does. I don't think Gaga has, say, C. Aguilera's sheer range and vocal athleticism, but she's better than Madonna in her prime and puts Brit-Birt, poor child, to shame.

[purejuice.livejournal.com]

yes, gaga can sing. and she can write music you can dance to, which i respect. (others do not.)

[gwenzilla.livejournal.com]

i was in love with that boy in the green polo and the porkpie in 1986.

[purejuice.livejournal.com]

oh yes, and i with the short sleeved plaid shirt.

[villagecharm.livejournal.com]

Those guys really are good. That's more compelling to me than the glossiest video. Did you see the 182nd Airborne performance of a Lady Gaga song?

[purejuice.livejournal.com]

i did, and i think they're better than she is too.

[lindeseig.livejournal.com]

I can take or leave Lady Gaga, and in general, she's not really my thing. but these guys are awesome. I want to track down more of them!

[purejuice.livejournal.com]

there are a bunch of on the rocks vids out there.
there really is nothing cooler than a capella pop.

[lindeseig.livejournal.com]

Not really much...I have to clue my stepsister into them. A Capella is more her thing than it is mine. And I checked out all the videos. Save a Horse; Ride a Cowboy = great fun. Means I have to get me to one of Denver's many cowboy bars for the full experience.

[la-chispa.livejournal.com]

Paris is Burning aside, just can't get into Gaga. On the Rocks doing Save a Horse, though? *swoon*

[purejuice.livejournal.com]

she's been named one of time mags' most influentila 100 this year and there's a little clip of gaga saying who is the greatest influence on her life. she says deepak chopra, who advises her....well, it doesn't matter what, because it's bullshit. (and i'm a deepak fan.)
riding cowboys, on the other hand, is good advice.

[la-chispa.livejournal.com]

Are you friends with Gordonzola?

http://gordonzola.livejournal.com/475580.html

[purejuice.livejournal.com]

i used to be, when he actually wrote stuff for lj. i pruned him in the great facebook clearout of 2009.

[orso-amoroso.livejournal.com]

cooler than a capella pop? some of Hayseed Dixie's work is right up there. As is that of Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine.

[dcart.livejournal.com]

I've been meaning to ask if you were familiar with any of this. Be careful, though, the site is a black hole.

[purejuice.livejournal.com]

oy. somebody has way too much time on their hands.