Cock Rock Schlock

[purejuice]

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/20/arts/music/20clapton.html?scp=1&sq=jeff%20beck&st=cse

Dear Jeff Beck, You Old Ho,

Your hair looks like something PVC with a biological half-life of 500,000 years that clambered its way up out of Roy Orbison's grave via the fly-spotted rock bottom wig and do-rag shop next door to the dog-foot pho restaurant on Wilson Boulevard in Clarendon, VA.

And what are those two metal cuffs, one at the wrist, one at your flabby biceps, horrifyingly uncovered because at the age of 127 you're wearing a vest over white-striped track pants, dude, which were never even hip on black Olympic champions in 1982, Just. Never. Remotely. Passable. As. Human. Wear., I ask you? Do you have any idea of how bad you look compared to Eric Clapton, who for the first time in his life did something 'side the gittar right and wore Easy Fit mom jeans and clean grey hair for your Madison Square garden concert last night?

Please. Jeff. Put your shirt on. Or at the least a turtleneck dickie. Because nobody wants to see yours your wattle.

Oh God.

No love,
No Juice

Comments

[the-sikh-geek.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this.
John Paul Jones on the other hand looks amazing and well put-together at 64.
http://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/Third_Party_Photo/2009/10/13/Them-Crooked-Vultures__1255445005_4058.jpg

[purejuice.livejournal.com]

yes. there's nothing cooler than an old babe.

[purejuice.livejournal.com]

please note chic, classic, contemporary haircut.

[la-chispa.livejournal.com]

Please note not only Springsteen but also his drummer.

[purejuice.livejournal.com]

oh excellent. did i get a glimpse of freaky old clarence clemmons with like eight foot plaits off to the side there?
part of the charm of the old babe is that they look as if they know how to do it. mastery. mmmmmmmm. generosity. gggggggggggggggg.

[dcart.livejournal.com]

I wonder if there's some tie between how they look and the fact that while JPJ is playing with some of the best rock musicians of his children's generation, Beck is playing with a guy who hasn't been interesting in 35 years.

[orso-amoroso.livejournal.com]

boom!

[the-sikh-geek.livejournal.com]

For how many decades has Clapton been making piles of money by recycling and watering/dumbing down far better, older blues artists? Jeff Beck has been doing the same thing with Jeff Beck.

Can we trade them both in for another Prince?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLmZKsWRL9E&feature=player_embedded

[dcart.livejournal.com]

I can live with someone being derivative if they play their instrument with a virtuoso's skills. Clapton always did that. Many of the best British guitarists of his era were just recycling the blues. Only a few of them, like Jimmy Page, were taking those old blues hooks and doing something truly innovative with them. My problems with Clapton started when he began watering down and dumbing down his own past.

[purejuice.livejournal.com]

great clip, thanks. i am truly a rock paleosaur, yet even i have loved prince since he was a dirty young man. now i remember why. the little red corvette fedora. and, oh yes. THE CHOPS.

[gloeden.livejournal.com]

Daaaaaaaaaaamn!

[purejuice.livejournal.com]

to quote b. goldwater: in your heart, you know i'm right.

[villagecharm.livejournal.com]

The metal cuffs better have some kind of occultic function. They. . . they can't be for fashion, can they?

[purejuice.livejournal.com]

like muddy waters is beaming msgs to them? i only wish it were true.