Cock Rock Schlock

[purejuice]

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/20/arts/music/20clapton.html?scp=1&sq=jeff%20beck&st=cse

Dear Jeff Beck, You Old Ho,

Your hair looks like something PVC with a biological half-life of 500,000 years that clambered its way up out of Roy Orbison's grave via the fly-spotted rock bottom wig and do-rag shop next door to the dog-foot pho restaurant on Wilson Boulevard in Clarendon, VA.

And what are those two metal cuffs, one at the wrist, one at your flabby biceps, horrifyingly uncovered because at the age of 127 you're wearing a vest over white-striped track pants, dude, which were never even hip on black Olympic champions in 1982, Just. Never. Remotely. Passable. As. Human. Wear., I ask you? Do you have any idea of how bad you look compared to Eric Clapton, who for the first time in his life did something 'side the gittar right and wore Easy Fit mom jeans and clean grey hair for your Madison Square garden concert last night?

Please. Jeff. Put your shirt on. Or at the least a turtleneck dickie. Because nobody wants to see yours your wattle.

Oh God.

No love,
No Juice